it's been all good

He stands smiling a permanent smile. Smiling at everyone,as if to say "Today's my day. No one is going to take it away from me". There are flowers on the table. Sunshine throught the glass windows. The office looks brighter, airier,roomier. Like it's put on it's best for him. Someone's talking but he's not listening to the speech. He's living in it. He looks at the gift-wrapped package in his hands. Almost stops smiling. The young ones are excited but quiet. Trying to find some way to participate. They don't have the years, but they'll have big words at the post lunch speech. They'll be right moved. He looks at them, smiles at the grandstanding. He's been there. The older ones are quieter. Some words cut across the year old layers of hypocrisy,pretense and politics. They mean it.They feel it. They know. Some of them are next. All of them are his friends now. For one glorious moment,they're all dearer to him than family.
In a short while, everyone would be back at their desks. His exit would be forgotten. And his time would be done. Forever.
He smiles at the word. It has been his companion for many sleepless nights. A tormentor in the beginning. An uneasy truce later on. Denial every now and then. Resignation, for quite a while. Its familiarity is almost comforting. He still doesn't feel the impact of it though. And wonders when he will ...
He wonders how long it would take for them to get someone else at his desk.
He walks past the front desk. The receptionist wishes him luck as he turns his ID in. He smiles. Hesitates whether to tell her that she is beautiful, like he always wanted to but never did.
He walks past the gates. He's still smiling, but something inside him is gone. He smilingly hopes he never ever remembers what the inside of the building or the people inside looked like.
"It's been all good", he says to himself. But his voice is far away. And his lip trembles