personal growth is like surgery. some parts of you might not make it to the next level.
unlike the moth which can become a butterfly, and not think about it, the human self has awareness of itself, and monitors all facets .
so if a part of you is plugged into the world in any sort of relation, the self will aim to preserve that part ,because the self is a sum of all facets, and hence rule out growth that might excise that facet.