embarassingly hopeful still

A very underrated form of wealth is being able to stop doing whatever you are doing, for at least a week, maybe a month or six months, without going down the drain career wise. Modern day 'career' was nothing but slavery, where you had to dress up and show up at a place where others stole your day from you, and returned home tired, angry, and hungry, to pick up the pieces of your life, until it started again the next day.

Thanks to the virus, while work _has_ invaded the home, we have these slivers of time in between, all to ourselves, where we can dream with eyes open, of the things we want to do, in between Slack calls and coding marathons.  This was one reason I had so dreamt about becoming a freelancer after four years in Mumbai. This was why I would save all the blog posts of techies who built products, or websites, and worked on their own time. Ths is why patio11's bingo-card-creator and how he made it (during a 9-9 sarariman job) was so hope-giving. This was why Robert Kiyosaki's line in his main book - if you disappear tomorrow, your job and income will also disappear, but your business will still put money in your pocket - was eye opening. This was why Kiyosaki , and Tim Ferris and the 4-hour work-week held attention so much. It's 2024 and I still am writing form within the walls of my prison. I still have these ideas and these goals and they are written down,  year after year,  on paper, in notebooks, in spreadsheets, in word -documents ... but they never move an inch beyond the abstract. Counting on 2024 to be the year of getting escape velocity.

when you take paychecks, you slowly lose the ability to not take paychecks. 

over time, you end up running faster and faster in the hamster wheel, responding to , what becomes obvious over time, are contrived calamities. yet you are scared to stop because you haven't seen the real world for a long time, and are not ready for the hardships of being off the 'scaly' corporate teat. this slowly robs you of all life, and leaves you with bad back, bad eyes, carpal tunnel, and ignored spouse, children, parents, friends, and self.

instead of growing every year, you remain key-presser for ghosts, pressing keys all day long for a name on a wall and a seat and a desk, in exchange of your precious blood-moments

"in 20 years, the only people who will remember that you did overtime, are your children"

i need to be able to take off any day from my work, and leave it for a few weeks, months, even a year, and come back and pick up without damage, and i need to be able to work from anywhere on it. i'd rather not be given busy work day by day, while my heart pumps blood uselessly and the dreams and potential wither and die