when I read Kim I of course put myself in his shoes, now when i read any holmes book, it gives me a safe predictable world where truth and good triumphs. to have kim grow up, have a son ( me too), and then disappear into the hills makes me feel like I am losing myself ,that i am somehow free no more, and will have to work to the whims of the world from now on.. I feel like every bus ride is a imposition, so every car ride, every interaction forced, and every meal a passing compromise. Escape comes in the form of books (like the Game), or tv now and then, but then the chains slip back. An inversion has occurred - earlier, I used to throw off the yoke of work at home, and would be free. now like air, that  yoke has permeated every moment , and it's not just work, but the responsibility of it ,for others, for small ones, and old... the self is feeling so neglected