this is why I love cracked.com 1

 https://www.cracked.com/article_21744_6-ways-your-brain-programmed-to-keep-you-unhappy.html

1. we think happiness is for stupid people

    we think happiness is for people who are child-like or very stupid

    too much self awareness is literally fatal - self absorption paradox

   self reflection makes you happier, self rumination makes you more miserable

2. we think optimism means being delusional

   in the James Bond Stockdale camp, delusional optimists died when their dreams didn't come through. 

   JBStockdale persisted because he was optimistic of getting out but realistic on when.

   "don't worry be happy" will probably kill you inside

3. minor inconveniences enrage us more than actual tragedies

    the doctor prescribes Vicodin for a severed finger but not for a hangnails. So we go through life with the canvas of pains painted exclusively with hangnails which we have no defence against. And minor irritations drive us to rage

4. relationships hurt, loneliness hurts more ( hedgehog dilemma)

   intimacy requires allowing others into inner circle, and lowering defenses, inevitably hurt happens, and betrayal . so your options are

   start dropping out of society more, until isolation turns to anger

   keep a safe distance from everyone and have a sterile relationship

   go out and get hurt again, accept that relationships are pain

5. we lie about what we want , because we think it makes us selfish

    abilene paradox ( Applebees paradox) everyone ends up at applebees as they think others like it, and so they say they like it too. 

6. you don't want to be a burden, which makes you a burden to others

    dependency paradox . people need to depend on other people in relationships. this is a thing. ignoring this and trying to be an island makes one dysfunctional.