when I reach the middle, both ends seem the same . so good sense in the middle is to be stupidly stubborn.

read about Trying not to try on Brainpickings.

imitating in smaller and smaller batch sizes until you reach an atomic level which can be fed to your algorithm /formula mill

algorithms, formulas
do, think
be,know
system 1,system 2
hip, square
swinging, training
good,true

the enemy of good is truth, not evil.

you can't get the whole picture 'coz the inside of your head is part of 'it' -
you can't get the whole picture 'coz a lil bit lies behind your eyes, which can't see it .
godel ?

Variation- recombine - recompile .
This is the way of the universe. Relentless refactoring is step 1.

you've got to constantly push yourself to deliver.
else, you'll slowly start collapsing within
better to sit with wide staring eyes and no one home,
than watch t.v


and there's no faith for cynics and second guessers and
shortcut takers.
the long path is the short path.

you can sleep when you collapse.

the natural state of man is to be in competition with other men
and not really partaking of nature outside,
but honing sharp the nature within
forging a fighter and winner out of it

Ultra conservative
will save money by not eating and starving to death
somebody needs to teach me about investments and repayments.
I believe nothing about the future is predictable.
not even the fruit of the investments you sow

okay, investments must be protected and that's a lot of effort
if you were counting the cost, you run more risk
there's risk all around

maladjusted to reality
optimizing all the wrong things
playing too conservative
the cost is showing up
the buffers are running low, almost out
living on borrowed buffers

daily face your fears
reach beyond your grasp
do things you wouldn't

what are my street skill levels ? probably closer to zero
does my intelligence count ?

will I set goals for myself and then chicken out and fall back to comfortable suicide ?

note to self
i cannot slog over days and nights.
I need regular breaks to stay alive

if it's not relevant ,don't think about it
if you think about it, don't worry if you don't have it all
go with what you have, go with passion

defer pleasure. later. you can even eat later. the mind learns to adapt .what pleasures do you need ?you can decide.

keep on keeping on.
it's better to wear out than rust out.

once you are unladen of the useless affectations of that other guy, the trinkets and mental habits and affectations of that other guy, you will be light and flighty in your mind.

you won't be able to speak up unless you're sure of yourself, for which the only remedy is that you've tried your best, that means you've tried everything you can think of. Not a 1 hr try attempt after which you go  pleasure yourself

in other words

It should be inserted here parenthetically that there's a school of mechanical
thought which says I shouldn't be getting into a complex assembly I don't
know anything about. I should have training or leave the job to a specialist.
That's a self-serving school of mechanical eliteness I'd like to see wiped out.
That was a ``specialist'' who broke the fins on this machine. I've edited
manuals written to train specialists for IBM, and what they know when
they're done isn't that great. You're at a disadvantage the first time around
and it may cost you a little more because of parts you accidentally damage,
and it will almost undoubtedly take a lot more time, but the next time
around you're way ahead of the specialist. You, with gumption, have learned
the assembly the hard way and you've a whole set of good feelings about it
that he's unlikely to have.

-Pirsig, Zen and the art of ....


If you meet the Buddha on road, kill him !
 - old zen saying


If you have a hero, look again, you have diminished yourself in some way
 - Sheldon Kopp

reading vs skyrim

saw on reddit - 'I can do 12 hrs of skyrim vs 1 hour of reading makes me tired'.

Ans - reading uses a lot of the brain. Skyrim only relies on existing routines in the brain.

When studying, if your brain becomes full, physical activity helps reset the brain. If you move the whole body ( tai chi, for example ) , you'll reset your head faster.

ideas :
[diary]
[internet consumption interface]
   |_  server side
[big tv display]