Large dark ball of great joy

Ive been looking for you

Have I been missing your calls?

 the job exploits your need for meaning and connection 

and severes you from the output of your work

and your people

by putting you in a room without doors or windows

it forces you to run faster and faster on a prison treadmill

 there is one, who cares,  tends to, or is just aware of all the stray chi in the universe

all strays are his kin , desolate places we see him in

in the human world, most chi is stratified

he takes a form , to tend to the stray chi 

in the humans 

 A website that looks like white paper, with text in handwritten font 

Literally no widget borders 

a paper version of GEB has been sitting on my bookshelf since 2005, when I went and bought it in Borders in Delaware ( gave it away in 2011(?) and bought a new copy from Crossword in VR mall in 2022?23?)

I haven't read beyond what I covered in 2005

but I've already read master Li number 10 Ox many times, and all Judge Dee books.

i'm sure there's something to be learnt from this, but i'm not sure what

guides have been popping in and out,  long list of guides

swami chinmayananda (seriously, from day 1)

ram dass

pirsig

bks iyengar

osho

krishna das

acharya prashant

ajahn brahm

tony

eknath easwaran

ramana maharishi

nisargadatta maharaj

brad warner

zen programmer

alan watts

delanda -destratified

lance daybreak

swami sivananda (divine lfie society articles/japa)

shinzen young

cheri huber

sivers ---> pema chodron

jiddu krishnamurti

dan millman - way of the peaceful warrior (nick nolte!)

robert svoboda 

baba /rampuri

tim gallwey ( opp of kahneman btw)

fritjof capra - first intro chapters

red pine - something something

chade meng-tan-  oh-no-it's that meng guy again, SIY , my first definition of metta, 

merton - way of chuang tzu, birds of appetite

eva wong -lieh tzu

paul reps - zen flesh zen bones

**

jerry weinberg

greenspun

matt might 

chad fowler

 we used to go to the beloved

 and get dissolved in our tears

but now we have

a meeting

 * sea of poppies

* three body problem

I said I wouldn't indulge

If you can eelf destruct in the virtual, the abstract, then maybe you can avoid the loss in the gross, the real, hence the path of austerities

If you bang your head against a rock,  eventually your heas would learn the rock. Looking up the directory and then the shelves, is a lot of work, and a lot of time has to go by before a bookstore worker develops a feel for the books, the titles, the authors, but this is the way. And if you have any resistance, it will be all uphill, but with inclination, thesame work is wind behind your sails, the wave lifting your surfboard....

Your problems are caused by whatever you are , what you do, where you live. Chamge these and observe what gets better.note it down ! Do more of it

Hence fasting and sabbath. Also when fasting the souls voice is clearer

The second consciousness is a model constructed out of the debug log/traces  of reality, generated by the first, viewed by one other than the first, but later, from elsewhere.sorta like pirsig following phaedrus'es trace 

 i am cracking these off jokes at off times because i am deprived of joy that was due through the diurnal-circadian cycle of the soul

 transformers act like ammunition, bullets, rounds, shells .... are free

do they like have a cold fusion reactor inside them that rapidly generates all the metals and chemicals needed to make shells, casing, cordite etc and stamp/press them live, into cartridges, in realtime ? like that kid in my school once told me -there's a gun, called the Equalizer, and it never runs out of bullets because it keeps splitting the bullets in half . I'm sure he didn't know infinite series - this was third grade or something ...

alien technology of the highest kind, and they are modelled after human primitives in that they fight with fists , one unholy clanknarok

the gems in the steaming pile of cerebral disconnect are john malkovich, john turturo, alan tudyk ...Turturo's   Agent Seymour is not just a character, but a way of life !!!

"this is our home, we must defend it !!" yells Optimus  ,falling down on, and destroying all real estate in a wide area around him 

oh yeah, apparently all galaxies know and converse regularly in the language of a small island on earth with bad food and weather, and immense colonising armies and navies (and mary poppins of course)

the first sam witwicky movie evokes the memories of the national treasure movie. arctic ice caps , ships, something lost historically...and while i love the mark wahlberg ones, not for one moment is he convincing as an _inventor_ , that too in _robotics_  - at one point he even says "this took some cade genius" ... other than sheldon, i don't think any scientist/inventor calls themselves 'genius' (incidentally that's how i figured the transformer movies were fiction, and not tech documentaries like i originally thought ...)

on the alien ship, they find a sword, which can be cocked like a pump gun, fires rounds like a carbine, and never runs out of ammo. seriously. no sprained brain cells here

marky mark in shooter was the best ever role for the man. suited him to a T

all my life, on sunday evenings, when the roads empty out, silence has snuck back in, and the world has receded coz of all the nothing we did on saturday, the pit of gloom starts building at 3 pm. since one is not working on one's own enterprise (and hence autonomy and salvation) , one is indebted to the ones providing a job, and on the hook, and they never let you free enough to build your own, so sunday evenings is when the leash-cum-umblical-cord is drying up. i would typically go to someone more plugged in, and working on something so that i would feel connected. nowadays, there is no one to connect with...

transformers-last-knight - the sequence of the submarine going through the thames, and the military folks following them in a submersible , is so very tintin/ blake-mortimer. anthony hopkins lends it a 'da vinci code' background

sending warning shots with torpedos is a stupid way to waste money, and your arsenal

was marky mark involved with the script ? he says don't say a thing and the girl says i'm speechless 

 my second child is named not-two, no really...

a large robot knight guarding merlin and his staff over the ages, with two swords, indiana jones did it better ... why put ken watanabe, steve buscemi, john goodman behind the autobot's voices.... they're wasted.. i'm sure there are plenty good voice artiste's who can do a better job

and why DO these  special forces types keep _shooting_ at these towering transformers ? do they think they can hurt them with their small arms fire ? did no one brief them about this ?

anyways, there's no movie like Battleship to match human agency and military swag and alien warfare

 what if humans had an 'off' switch ?

 Black, not of paint, but of shadow