I have a tendency to shut off completely, and go along with whatever is in vogue in the current micro-society ( meaning bunch of two-three people I am around)

as a result, I have no continuing efforts or results, on the ground. In my mind - yes, but not on the ground.

I also have developed the ability to not complete any task set before me. I blame this squarely on this phase of life not being built on bedrock, but off of other people's roofs or walls. The hesitancy to commit given the lack of bedrock or sky, has run for decades now, and half-assery is now detectable in my blood cells, under a microscope.

This gives me considerable unease, which can be masked by eating, reading blogs, doing THAT one thing to keep the nearest boss happy, while slow-death-ing the soul work.