I need to feel like shit in order to work

A year ago I started eating really healthy for a month.  It felt great, I was full of energy.  

But I couldn't stay in my cubicle. I kept getting up to go somewhere, anywhere else, sneaking outside for fresh air and sun. 

Work suffered. 

When I'm unemployed I eat well, get daily exercise, adequate rest, and I'm generally healthy and feeling fine. 

When I work, I don't. It's not that I don't have the time or the energy at the end of the day, because I totally could keep up with the healthy stuff. 

It's that I need to feel like shit in order to work.

source : https://www.ranprieur.com/archives/019.html